I wonder!
by tanya1980
Summary: Andy decided to write down her thoughts of her last day undercover and of her first 2 days back on the streets. Enjoy!


_I don't own Rookie Blue, if I did it would be on 52 weeks a year and I would not be writing a fan fiction, to keep me entertained._

* * *

I can't believe today is the day. It seems like I have been waiting for this day to come for a very long time, but I guess if really think about it, it has been 6 months since I left my old life behind and became someone new.

Being someone else was hard at first (thank heavens for Nick), but as time went on it became easier. Easier to lie and forget everything and everyone left behind, only if it was a little bit. Missing everyone is one thing that never did get easier. I never thought for one second when I took the spot on the taskforce would I miss everyone as much as I do. Everyone of them at 15 are my family. In the last three years I have came to depend on them more then I ever realized. I missed my parents as well but my family from 15 are the ones I am excited to see. I just hope things never changed to much since I have been gone.

I wonder what has changed. Did Sam wait for me, not that I expect him too, since this is the second time I ran. Is he happy? Or did he go back undercover just to get away and try to forget whatever happened him self.

Who is the new Detective? Since I knew it is not Luke, him running the taskforce leaves little time to work else where.

I wonder if Zoe forgave Oliver and let him go home? Or is he still sleeping on Sam's sofa? Thinking about Oliver and Sam having a sleep over makes me laugh.

Frank and Noelle's baby, hope she has a name, did those two get married? Hope not I want to see it. Can't wait to see the baby, never seen her much before I left, Noelle had her in the station a few times but that was it.

Before I left Chris found out he had a son. I can not imagine Chris not stepping up and doing the right thing that is just not who Chris is. Just hope he is still around.

Dov is the one I am afraid to see what changes he made. I love him but he is always a wild card. Maybe him and Sue settled their differences and are working things out.

Gail is probably back to the ice queen again, such as shame too, I was just starting to like the new Gail. Her and Nick are good together, I hope she can understand why he went under and forgive him. These last past 6 months have been hard on him, he deserves to be happy.

Traci and Leo, I regret everyday leaving them when they needed me most. They have had a hard go in life and losing Jerry just added to it. I prayed every night that I made it out of here alive and would be able to tell them just how much I missed them and how sorry I am. I hope Traci stayed on as a "D" Jerry was so proud of her when she said that is what she wanted to do. He knew she would do great and as I do.

I hope that one thing that has changed for sure is, I hope we have a new batch of Rookies so we can stop being called it. 3 Years is enough.

* * *

I can't believe after one 8 hour shift I am done, and I just had a week off, Sure during that time off I had a debriefing, meet up with the Coppers from 15 at the Penny one night, cleaned and stocked up the house, paid the bills and seen my parents, but I was sleeping all the rest of the time. Maybe it is going to take a few days to get back in the swing of things. On the street you are going from call to call and undercover you are working all the time but most of it is down time, sleep all day and work during the night at the club. Yep, it is going to take a few days. It sure was great to be back on the streets today, undercover was good but this is more my thing. Hope tomorrow I am not partners with Marlo Cruz, we all thought Sam was a hard ass she as him beat. She has a bug up her ass at me too, today was the first she meet me, and she was colder towards then Gail to any suspect, if that is even possible. I need to find out why she is the way she towards me.

It only took 60 minutes in the locker room today to find out everything I was wondering, so it shouldn't be that hard to find out what I need to know about Marlo, surly someone most have the answer.

In 6 months some things changed and some stayed the same, but everyone is happy where they are at in life at the moment.

It was different not seeing Sam in uniform, but he still looks sexy as ever. Becoming a "D" seems like it works for him, he doesn't seem as on edge and is more relaxed and happy. And the best part is we talked actually talked it felt wonderful. Who knows what the future holds for us, right now is what matters. We decided we want to be together, take things slow, talk more and try really try to be normal. So happy he waited for me and that he understands why I went undercover.

Seeing that big smile on Oliver's face today when Zoe came into the station was something I will never forget, they seem so in much in love. I bet he is not missing sleeping on Sam sofa.

Mia, Frank's and Noelle's little girl but not so little girl is a doll. I can't not wait to go see her next week. It was awesome of Noelle to invite me over to see her, I just need to go shopping to get her something. I have lots of spoiling to catch up on, Traci and Gail are way ahead of me. Frank told me the other night at the Penny him and Noelle are getting married, they wanted to wait for all of 15 to be there. It was very sweet. I am glad they waited. It won't be the same with out Jerry there tho.

As I guessed Chris stepped up and is taking care of his son. I could not imagine being a part time working single mom. Now that I am home I am going to help him out, like everyone else has been doing for the past 6 months. Hopefully Denise will change her mind some day and move back to the city with Chris or even close to Chris to make things easier for al of them. Time is all they need it is a wonderful thing and opens your eyes to things you never thought possible.

We got a new Rook, and Dov dates her of course. It was funny watching them today in parade. She is going to give Dov a run for his money that is for sure. The one time other then today when I seen her she was very nice and she seems to make Dov very happy, I never seen him like this before, content. I can't believe we just got 1 new Rookie, she is called Rook and we're still stuck with Rookies, some things just never change.

Gail was the ice queen when I first got back, but she is starting to come around now, Nick is really wearing her down. That boy is like a dog digging a bone, he won't stop until he gets want he wants.

Traci is handling thing good, She still has a few moments. We talked over the last week and she understands why I went, and forgives me. Leo is excited to have Aunt Andy home, we have plans for my next day off to go the skate park, this should be fun. I will never understand why I let a 6 year old decided what we are going to do, someday I will learn my lesson. Traci stills misses Jerri like crazy but she is taking it one day at a time, and each day it doesn't hurt as much. Seeing Traci working as a "D" right beside Sam is amazing. It is almost like Jerry planned it. I am so proud of Traci for sticking it out, and I know that Jerry is smiling down on her, just as I am smiling, knowing that Sam will always have her back.

* * *

Well I am not as tired as yesterday but still tired and things are getting easier, guess I am getting back into the grove of things. Tomorrow night I plan on going to the Penny with everyone for a drink.

Well today I am going to out why Cruz has bug in her ass. I know a little bit from tis morning because as I was about to walk into the locker room, I hear my name so I stopped. I am not one for eaves dropping but the way she said my name got my attention. I could only hear Marlo's voice which seemed strange at first, but as I listened to her there was no way she was talking to someone because she keep going on it was almost like she never took a breath. So after a few more minutes of standing by the door I had enough, I open the door the rest of the way and walk in, she looks like I have 3 heads. I try to pretend she is not there as I change, but find it kind of hard when she is still whisperings to her self, so finally as asked what her problem with me is. She flips me the bird of all things. When I am done changing I walk out of the locker room laughing to my self, right into Sam. He sees me smiling and ask what has my so happy this hour in the morning, so I tell him about the way Cruz was yesterday and about today. He tells me not worry, it's not me it is him and he will explain everything tonight. Thank heavens I never seen Cruz for the rest of the day. Now I am sitting here waiting for Sam to come over so he can tell me what is going on. This is one conversation with Sam I am looking forward to having. Hopefully by tomorrow I will understand what her problem is better.

* * *

I wanted to write down my thoughts of my last day of undercover and my first few days back to work on the street. I kept a journal while I was undercover, and this is the end of my undercover experience. I wanted to have these moments, and thoughts for the rest of my life. Being undercover changed me, it made me want to remember the little things that I so lost while being under. The little things is what matters most always and forever. I never want to forget that again.


End file.
